Follow Me

Luke 9:23
Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

I’ve been thinking about this verse alot lately. When thinking about life, faith, purpose, truth, and many other things…that can be shaken to their core, I need to focus on Jesus, and follow his lead. For in  his leadership I find peace, grace, love, mercy, community, beauty, restoration and real life.

How about you?

 

Cultivating Love

Yesterday it was pure bliss to spend 2 hours alone in the garden. I got to thinking about this passage and wondering how to ‘cultivate love’, the sort of love God talks about. Is it given? Or is love hard work? Sure I love those around me, but my patience wears thin, my kindness is not always evident, I record wrongs, often I am rude, without hope, quite simply my love is often not enough and I fail.

It’s a good thing God’s love  is enough.

I need his patience as I work out the weeds. Hand in hand with Jesus as my co-gardener, my mentor, I know this love will increase. 

I am thankful God’s love is all these things. Lately I have been reading the Bible in light of this loving God and I am blown away. His love overwhelms me. As I know his love more and more, I find it bubbling over in me. So yes, it’s hard work, but I also find it comes with understanding and knowing a loving God.

Jesus stir up this love in me as I cultivate beauty in my marriage, with my children, my family, my friends, community, this planet and people in need of some grace around the globe.

 

1 Corinthians 13

I know we’ve spent time on these verses before, well maybe before the start of this blog, I’m not sure.  But meditating on the wisdom I desire from the last section, as well as some really convicting reading has made me think about saturating myself in these words on love once again.  If you feel so inclined, please join me.

“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude .  It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends.” 1 Cor 13:4-8

 

A Prayer.

Tonight I started to read the verses Tammy had highlighted.  Some days are days that really drum up the yearning and desire for wisdom.  Today was that kind of day.  I found myself asking Jesus for help, direction, wisdom.  And then I remember these verses.  So after children were in bed (for the second time…Eden!) I sat down with a hot drink and the Word.  I read these verses and found no answers.  Well, not the “hand it to you on a silver platter” kind of answers anyway.  Not the “quick fix” answers we so often demand.  Instead I found a call to get to know wisdom.  Nothing I desire can compare with her.  She will guide me down delightful paths; all her ways are satisfying.  Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.

I realized, impatiently, that I wasn’t just going to sit down, read these verses,  and “get” wisdom.  A little disappointed, I went back to see what Tammy had written about the verses – hoping for some insight.  That’s when I noticed the two words Tammy put before she wrote out the Scripture:  A Prayer.

yes.

A prayer.

So this is my prayer, that I would find Wisdom and become acquainted with her.

No, no, no…better yet, that I become a lover in wild pursuit of her,  satisfied and full of joy.

 

Garbage Update….and Next Passage

I felt strongly that I wanted to do something about the garbage that had seemingly overtook our special nature spot. My sister and hiked to the spot, with garbage bags and gloves in hand. It felt good. Satisfying. Upon arrival, we happily discovered that most of the garbage had been cleaned up. However, we managed to still find another full bag of garbage. It felt good to contribute. Symbolic of the clean up that I want done in my own soul. I am thankful for the insight I have to know there is a better way of life. A truly life-giving journey, a life in Christ, a life of love. This comes from real wisdom. Which brings about another passage. A scripture that I stumbled upon a few weeks back. A prayer.

 ¹³ Blessed is the man who finds wisdom,
       the man who gains understanding,

 ¹⁴ for she is more profitable than silver
       and yields better returns than gold.

 ¹⁵ She is more precious than rubies;
       nothing you desire can compare with her.

 ¹⁶ Long life is in her right hand;
       in her left hand are riches and honor.

 ¹⁷ Her ways are pleasant ways,
       and all her paths are peace.

 ¹⁸ She is a tree of life to those who embrace her;
       those who lay hold of her will be blessed.

Proverbs 3

 

Garbage

When I reflect on this passage I am reminded about all the junk in my soul. I cringe at the way I sometimes talk to my children, or husband, especially in the heat of the moment. I am saddened by how my words are far from encouraging all of the time. I wonder how I grieve the Holy Spirit. I seek forgiveness for all the times I am far from gentle and tender-hearted. I long for a different way of life. I long to live as Paul suggests…

²⁵What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.

 ^26-27Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.

 ²⁸Did you use to make ends meet by stealing? Well, no more! Get an honest job so that you can help others who can’t work.

 ²⁹Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.

 ³⁰Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted.

 ^31-32Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. The Message.

I’ve spent some time today helping two people work through an argument. Something was said that offended the other, that one confronted the other, and words weren’t heard, and then the garbage of the soul was laid out for all to see. Now they are both knee-deep in words that lay as garbage at their feet. They wonder how to clean it up. Where do they even begin?

 It made me think of this picture I took this weekend. Our family went on a beautiful nature walk to this gorgeous spot of rocks and rivers. When we got there we witnessed the remnants of a long weekend party. Garbage was everywhere, broken glass, and litter scattered the rocks and bottom of the river. How would we even begin to clean up this space? To restore the beauty we once enjoyed so freely without worry of cutting our feet open, or finding an uncluttered space to share our picnic, or safe places for our children to explore.

Sometimes my soul feels like this. Scattered with junk. I long to have the spirit restore it’s beauty. To have the beauty overflow into gentle and loving expressions midst the people in my life. At times I see it. I feel it. I know it’s His beauty. Lord work in me. Stir up your spirit. Please clean up the garbage of my soul, that I may reflect your love more and more without junk getting in the way. For you are the restorer.

 

Grace

“Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.” Eph 4:26,27

Strong, but true words.

Josiah and I had a bit of a heated run in before bed time tonight.  We also had a beautiful time of reconciliation and these verses were flooding my mind.  I’m always amazed how the words of Scripture I am marinating on find ways of coming to life and incarnating themselves in my story.

Anger gives a foothold to the devil.  Wow, I’m sure tons has been written somewhere on this topic.  Think of what happens when you are angry.  For me, I start to create all sorts of false, over-exaggerated conclusions and judgments.  “He NEVER listens, We suck as parents, she is such a ****, I can’t stand him…” and so on and so on.  These thoughts may not last long, but they come and they whisper into our hearts and our minds.  Tell me those judgements and thoughts don’t give the devil a foothold to rob and divide.

Or what about our action in our anger.  “In your anger, do not sin”. What about the methods of control I try to use when I am angry, the manipulation or the unkind words.  Not only does that injure someone, giving the devil a foothold in their life for him to fester lies from the pain in their hearts,  but it also gives him a foothold in my life as I experience guilt and tell myself lies about my own personhood.

As Josiah and I sinned in our anger tonight we gave the devil an oppotunity to bring damage to our relationship and our souls.  I am thankful however, for the opportunity we had to reconcile, to forgive and to give our anger away before we shut our eyes on the day.  As we lay snuggling we each confessed our angry sins to one another and forgave each other.  I loved praying with my little boy for forgiveness and freedom from our sins.  I loved how sincere he was and how quickly and easily he wanted to re-connect with me.  What a picture of how quickly I should turn to God – desiring our connection to not be lost, and trusting his certain love for me.

I also love in these verses how it gives us something else to do with our mouths instead of sin in our anger.  Just as Tammy mentioned that these verses tell us instead of stealing, we should use our hands to make and give – they give an alternative to angry mouth sin as well.  “Don’t use foul or abusive language.  Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them…Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words and slander, as well as all types of evil behaviour.  Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

I just love how God doesn’t just say “Don’t” but how he also gives a replacement “Do“.

good. helpful. encouragment. kind. tenderhearted. forgiving.

It sucks to have heated moments with the loved ones in our lives, but it feels so good to love and be loved deeply enough to forgive one another, just as in fact we have been forgiven by God.

———————————-

Take these hands
Teach them what to carry
Take these hands
Don’t make a fist
Take this mouth
So quick to criticize
Take this mouth
Give it a kiss

 

Imitate God

This morning we had plans for adventure. Somehow, close to lunch my mood changed. I got grumpy. Husband in his wisdom and compassion took the girls on a daddy day, giving mommy some time on her own.

A chance to sit and meditate on the current passage. I read the passage again, again, the line that stands out is ‘Be kind and compassionate to one another’ forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.’ I wish I could be this all the time. I seek it often towards my children. Deep inside me all I find is darkness. I am prompted to read a little further because the paragraph doesn’t end there, Ephesians 5:1-2… ‘Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.’ Imitate God…which means He is kind and compassionate, and more, gave himself to us. I am not going to find the strength to be kind and compassionate in myself. It is in Christ. I find comfort for the rest of the passage that in ways haunts me. For how do I measure up to what Paul is suggesting we aspire towards? I fail. I am guilty. I don’t even know where to start to change my ways. God in his grace, love, kindness, and compassion will build me up, He will take away those dark places, and shine brightly. For it is not in myself, but in Him that I find strength and the example to be kind and compassionate, even towards myself.

Tonight I put my daughter to bed. She doesn’t like bedtime. I like it even less. Anger surfaces when the saga draws out and she does all she can to keep herself from slumber, including touching my face, and banging the wall with her feet. Tonight I think on the Father of kindness and gentleness, for me, and for her. I imitate God.

 

Building each other up

²²You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

When reading these verses, sometimes I wonder if my ‘old self’ will ever be cast off, especially as easily as this verse can make it seem, like an outfit ready for the wash.  It can seem impossible to choose a different way when  I am struggling against some combination of genetics and upbringing that have totally entrenched a little but certainly unGodly ways of being. 

One thing God started speaking to me when studying the first section was to abide in him to put off my old self that can too often be just slightly critical towards how my husband does something (when he does it differently than me.)  I am not talking about a fight here or an outright nastiness, but something more about the tone of how I say or ask something (usually rhetorical) of him.  So when I read the following segment of Ephesians 4, this part immediately hit home.

²⁹Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Always talking kindly to and only building my husband up is one area I am trying to give over to the spirit right now.  I say trying because having some pregnancy hormones, coupled with the slight stress of getting ready to move, my poor husband has been subject to more grumpiness from me lately than normal – so I keep trying to remember to bite my tongue and pray for kindness to build up this man I love so much.  To get out of old habits and do what I really want to do in Jesus anyway – have my words only be a benefit to him.

 

A Thief? Not Me.

²⁸He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

At first glance I can easily pass by this passage. My stealing days ended long ago. Those chocolate chips from mom’s baking cupboard, a few quarters in the sofa, my sister’s clean shirt when I need to do my laundry…but now I own those chocolate chips in the cupboard, also those quarters, and there’s no one else my size in my home.

Who am I stealing from? Does this verse pertain to me?

Then it dawns on me…. When I purchase items made by the hands of children in sweat shops am I stealing their innocence? their joy? their childhood? When I use products and do activities that are not healthy for this planet am I stealing from my children and their children? From people and places both near and far that are affected by my choices? Buying chocolate chips from companies that steal it from third world farmers so that I can buy it cheap, and buy lots of it…what is my responsibility in this chain of events? How can I change these sad events that are happening in this world, mostly unnoticed, people remain ignorant, or are empathetic about these events. Who wants to pay $30 for a t-shirt when you can pay $10?

This is where it stings. Sins stain my hands. I feel hopeless. Even when I attempt to not support such ‘stealing’ I falter at every turn. I wonder what I can do…‘something useful with [my] own hands, that [I] may have something to share with those in need.