Love Is…

My son spent most of the afternoon playing in this group of trees and bushes.  Yep, just him and the bushes.  There is so much nature at my mom and dad’s and the kids just get lost in it all day.  I notice this kind of play is different than the kind of play we have at home.  It is more creative and spontaneous and (the biggest difference) lasting.  They can play with sticks, rocks, grass and leaves for a very long time.  They are happy and sleep well.  They are learning about so many things and free to do so at their own pace.

(An insect found by Liam and observed over an outside supper.)

I love it when my kids get a chance to really be free in God’s creation.  We try and get some nature time every day, but there is something so different about going for an hour to the pond by our house, or a nature sanctuary for an afternoon than this days at a time type experience.  I hope that these times, will help shape them into adults who love nature and want to take care of it because they are aware of how utterly amazing and soul restoring it is. 

God’s gift of this kind of relaxation and restoration is one I am so thankful for.  So for now while it is available, we are going to soak it up.

He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.  Psalm 23:2

Here’s the passage we’re working on. I’ll highlight this week’s verses in red. Anyone have some thoughts to share after a week of meditating on this passage? 

Isaiah 58:6-12 (New International Version)

 ⁶ “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
       to loose the chains of injustice
       and untie the cords of the yoke,
       to set the oppressed free
       and break every yoke?

 ⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry
       and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
       when you see the naked, to clothe him,
       and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

 ⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
       and your healing will quickly appear;
       then your righteousness ^[a] will go before you,
       and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.

 ⁹ Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
       you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
       “If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
       with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

 ¹⁰ and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
       and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
       then your light will rise in the darkness,
       and your night will become like the noonday.

 ¹¹ The LORD will guide you always;
       he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
       and will strengthen your frame.
       You will be like a well-watered garden,
       like a spring whose waters never fail.

 ¹² Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
       and will raise up the age-old foundations;
       you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
       Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.

“The rampant individualism of the last few hundred years in the west has left families and children in bad shape, as people act on the belief that they have as individuals a right to happiness which overrides all considerations of loyalty, keeping vows and the duty to bring up lovingly the children one has brought into the world.”  NT Wright (Matthew For Everyone Bible Commentary).

I heard this passage in a sermon a few weeks ago. It really got me thinking about all the modern day inventions we have to parent our babies. Most of them giving our baby independence from us, rather giving us independence from them. I often think about how parenting would have been done before this consumeristic world in which we live. It’s a good barometer for me to guage whether a particular item/idea is necessary for parenting.

Little Joy (6mo old) is really at the mommy and me stage. I suppose she’s been there all along but now that she is crawling and exhibiting some independence I can see the anxiety she gets when I leave a room. At moments I’ve been quite annoyed that I can’t even walk into the kitchen without her letting out a squeek. But with a little assurance that ‘mommy is here’ it’s only moments before I hear her little hands on the floor as she crawls to be with me. As I am part of her identity at this point it must be pretty disconcerting for part of her to just get up and walk away. When I am reminded of this fact all the annoying feelings go away. This is how it is supposed to be. Baby and mom, as one, and it goes by so fast. I just have to watch my 2 yr old skip away from mommy, with no fear, at the park to be hit with this reality. However even at 2 she needs me so much. She loves her snuggles. She loves playtime with mommy. I love it too.  I don’t want independence from her.

This passage helps me evaluate my motivations. Reminds me that my kids need me in both physical and emotional ways. The task is sometimes overwhelming, but it is also so satisfying. It is our calling as moms. It’s a great calling, and I am glad we have a great God who leads us and shows us the way.  He never exercises independence from us. He wants us utterly dependant on Him at all times, He’ll never disappoint.

Here comes my crawler…I’m sure she wants on my lap. Better go.

I love my carriers. A modern day spin on an ancient practise. My Joy loves it too!

Let me start this post by saying I have a bird phobia.  Bugs, snakes, spiders…no problem.  Birds, yucko!  There is a long story that goes with it, including some nasty events that happened while working at a pet store in high school.

But I love my children enough to put aside my phobia apparently.

We are visiting my parents and my mom (who teaches first grade) lovingly timed the hatching of the classroom chicks for our visit.  Ever since his first visit to the orchard where these babies are destined to go, my son has been talking about chickens of his own if we ever move to a ‘farm’ one day.  He saw the grown version eat bugs, the fallen fruit and kitchen scraps and got to collect eggs and fell in love with the idea of his own chickens to take care off ‘all by himself.’  Liam is a true farmer at heart and has lots of work stamina to go along with it.  (My favourite thing he says about the chicks is ‘mommy chickens are powerful messers’ with great admiration.)  This visit Raine was just as impressed and loves to gently hold these babies – no fears inherited from her mother at all.

So even though I have had to pick up baby chicks (at some sacrifice to myself – imagine whatever you think is the last thing you would want to pick up to think about how I feel) I have in turn been blessed by seeing my children enthralled with yet another part of God’s creation.  I cannot tell you how many hours they have spent studying these babies.  Their absolute wonder and excitement for all things God created is one of the greatest gifts I receive from being a mother.  I cannot help but see only miracles and  joy, instead of something icky, when looking at life through the eyes of my children.

Sorry everyone. I could explain that I was on holidays last week, and I am still disoriented on days, but I will just apologize and get us going on this week’s memory work!

I sometimes find memorizing a larger chunk of verses over numerous weeks easier, because the various verses feel less fragmented. I thought I would start us this week on the first 2 verses of  Isaiah 58: 6-12, and then if anyone wants to continue we can, or we can find something else next week. I love the whole passage, but I will be working on verses 6 and 7 this week. I will list the entire passage below:

‘Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice

and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free

and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry

and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-

when you see the naked, to clothe him,

and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?

Then your light will break forth like the dawn,

and your healing will quickly appear;

then your righteousness will go before you,

and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.

Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;

you will cry for help, and he will say:

Here am I.

If you do away with the yoke of oppression,

with the pointing finger and malicious talk,

and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry

and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,

then your light will rise in the darkness,

and your night will become like the noonday.

The Lord will guide you always;

he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land

and will strengthen your frame.

You will be like a well-watered garden,

like a spring whose waters never fail.

Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins

and will raise up the age-old foundations;

you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,

Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.’

There is so much in these verses, I find it dizzying and it scatters my thoughts. At first glance I feel ashamed how little I am doing of the justice-work and compassion-work that these verses describe. Then God reminded me of the three little hungry bodies I am feeding around the clock. And the three beautiful, naked bodies I am clothing each morning. It transforms me to see these tasks as they truly are… sacred.

I have been watering our garden through this drought, and as I want my garden to be well-watered and produce life, I also yearn for a well-watered soul that God can grow His glory in. I eagerly anticipate meditating on, and learning what it means to be a ‘Repairer of Broken Walls’ and ‘Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.’

I cannot ready myself for these three unfathomable words… ‘you will cry for help, and he will say:

Here am I.’

May the ‘Here am I’ God bless you this week as we bask in these verses together. Meg

I know I don’t always read links people insert.  But this one I found via Holy Experience is worth it.

The Prison of Thanklessness

His question catches me off guard. Completely.

His fifth birthday party is now ended. I’ve tidied and wondered at how five years could have already passed. I joy and ache and wonder who will he be in another five. ‘O Lord, make me know… the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am!’ Psalm 39:4

Father, teach me to measure his days. I don’t want to be caught off guard.

His question remains. He sits on his bed, pajama- clad, birthday day done. ‘Mama how old am I going to get?’ he pauses. ‘Am I going to have a quadrillion birthdays?’

It crushes me, fills me with dread. I am suspended in this moment, unable to respond. I kneel to him, despairing to be sharing his mortal malady with him on his birthday. I’m not ready to share this solid secret of humanity with him yet… yes Ben, you will die… no, I don’t know when… this much I know is true. ‘What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.’ James 4:14

I stroke Ben’s entire length with my hand. His beautiful head, his lengthening limbs, his racing boy-feet. I admire how this five-year-old clay has formed. I marvel at the Potter and the clay, at Creator and creation. Each day he is changing, with every whirl of the wheel, the Potter is touching him, molding him, body and soul. I awe at how malleable is this sacred, sculpted clay.

Father, how can I tell him of his mortality on his fifth birthday?

Leaning toward him despite the stabbing in my soul, ‘Ben…’ I begin hollowly. I am at a loss for words, knowing the grim news that is choking me. ‘Ben…’.

I breathe.

 Something catches my heart, pivoting it profoundly. The Spirit leads, and I find foreign words uttering forth. My eyes fill with the fullness of this whispered truth.

‘Ben, you are going to live forever!!’

Ben thrills, blue eyes widening as he considers this fact. ‘Whoooooa.’ Longing for more good news, he asks again, ‘Does that mean I will never, ever die?’

The Spirit again supplies the words I could not express. ‘Ben, the Bible says that anyone who loves Jesus will never taste death.’ This much I know is true.

Ben lays into his bed satisfied, assured and at peace. Covered and comforted by this promise.

I gaze once more at my five-year-old son. ‘…for he knows how we are formed, he remembers…’ Psalm 103:14 I am awash in gratitude for this remembered-clay. I am intensely aware how loved he is by both Potter and parent. My soul, still saturated, prays to God a parent’s plea…

Father thank You for this boy. Fan and protect his faith. Give us wisdom to guide him. Grow him into a man who will love You and serve You.

Happy birthday beautiful boy. How good of God to make you.

I don’t know if any of you ever stop by Pioneer Woman, but I am thoroughly enjoying reading her blog.  She’s hilarious.  She tells stories with pictures and wit.  One of the things I love best is how she honours her husband by speaking of him so favourably and well (sometimes a little too favourably ).  So many women just complain about their husbands (and don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard some stories worth complaining about).  And I have fallen into the complainy camp now and then, unfortunately.  Yet, I wonder if there isn’t something very important about building up your husband and showing him how great he is in your eyes.  And pioneer woman?  well she loves him, she really loves him, and she lets it show.  See here or here for instance.

This is MY husband.

Today is mine and Matt’s 9 year anniversary.

I love him.

I feel lucky in a lot of ways because, while I knew I was getting a good guy back when we were dating, I could never have projected to the future to see just how good.  He was always kind, sensitive, funny and patient, qualities that drew me to him and qualities that have grown stronger and have been carved even more beautifully into his life.  But as a young woman, I wasn’t asking myself what kind of dad he would be, or watching to see how his priorities of family or God fit in with other priorities in his life (like work, or leisure).  I just wasn’t looking for those things.  The fact that he is one of the most loving, involved dads I have ever witnessed is a wonderful gift from God to me and my kids.

He does things like run around the basement playing, “I need that ball” with J when he has had very little sleep, a long day, a sermon to write (for the next day)…and little J has no clue that anything else is on his daddy’s mind besides playing with him.  He does other things like happily and lovingly pick up an incredibly dirty boy (INCREDIBLY dirty) while wearing wedding clothes because his little boy needs his daddy to hold him, after hesitating for only a mere half second. He looks into our daughters eyes and tells her she is the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen.  He does the dishes when I’m recovering from surgery.  He whips off his shirt and runs with his long lean body around his sisters yard, hooting and laughing with a roaring, rambuctious gang of  nieces and nephews.  He has them sit down to play duck duck goose and looks at all of the rest of us adults just sitting around watching and invites us to join in – to experience life with these children rather than just watching.  He prays that he won’t miss the moments.  He is full of dreams and passions.  He loves reading and seeking wisdom.  He’s smart with money.  He longs to give good gifts to me and to others.  He is generous.  He loves Jesus.

He is a good man. I am a blessed woman.

You are a cherished gift, Matt

You are such a good dad…

And I really love you.

and I don’t know what else to say about him, so… let me use the words of Pioneer Woman…

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go have 10 more children with this man”

Happy Anniversary.

You know what I really love God!  (Of course at times that feeling is stronger than at others.) For me a wonderful part of that love is being able to express it through worship and striving to bless Him.  I am a very quite worshiper, but I still love to do it.  God gave us a beautiful gift through worship:  it pleases God and by his grace also fills up the worshiper!  My second reason for choosing this verse is that, if God’s praises were continually in my mouth I would save myself a lot of trouble that comes to me by voicing my opinion over other things.  Again, part of what God intended, I am sure.  So with that said praise God!

Psalm 34:1

I will bless the Lord at all times;

His praise shall continually be in my mouth

This week has been a reflective one for me. It’s been a year now since our family moved across the country to live in Ontario. Our youngest daughter  is  7 months old (she also just learned to crawl, what a big girl!). My husband and I are celebrating 11 years of marriage.  Our lives have changed in great ways over the past 12 months. We are now country dwellers, we have 2 kids, I am back at home full time, my husband is living his dream job (with much more time at home) we have new friends…and we also have a dog . In so many ways I love my life. In other ways I grieve the loss of a former life. Why can’t we have the best of both worlds? I am grateful that there is so much good. Good life there, good life here. God is good. Where ever we go, He meets us. He provides for us. He loves us. He is the true constant and I am thankful that His love, grace, and presence will never change.

Lately I have been filled with gratitude, filled to emotional overflowing. I started writing down those things so that when tough times, or moments come I can read the ‘gratitude list’ and see more clearly the reality of blessing in my life. For what are you grateful?  May you see the good God is pouring out in your life. Whether you are going through struggles or time of peace and rest. May you rest in Jesus above all. Our greatest blessing!

Rest, knowing, there’s nothing more you can do to make God love you more, and there’s nothing you can do to take it away. I have such high standards for myself sometimes, which can overwhelm me. Then softly the spirit reminds me to rest in Jesus, He has done the ‘work’. Sabbath is here. In time and with the spirit’s prompting I can reach those ambitions. Relying on Him who gives me strength.

Stay alert, with your eyes wide open in gratitude. Colossians 4:2